Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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