The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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