Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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