no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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