I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I could fuck to npr.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
