Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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