She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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