Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
