hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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