My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
