I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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