So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
