This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
