I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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