Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
