We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
