thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My feet surprised me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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