the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
