Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
