did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
