so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
