my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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