His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
