Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
