We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
