You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
