at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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