im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
