i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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