Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
you never un-have a 4some
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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