I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The uberlube is also flammable
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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