so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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