Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
