Pappa wants mamma naked
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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