You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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