I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
