i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
