She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
