Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
