Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I see more hoeing in ur future
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
