how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
