Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
