if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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