She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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