could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
