How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
