So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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