VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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