Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Everyone says I win the strip club
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
