Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
