OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
oh god the rape fog is back!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
