so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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